Wayfinders Room #004- A Simple Mentoring Method that Works

Self-efficacy, vulnerability, and creativity — the way I mentor

The first thing I believe everyone needs to develop (and what I always try to exercise in my mentoring) is a sense of ‘I am capable’ (also known in psychology as ‘self-efficacy’).

My method starts with active listening. I listen to the person about how they are and how life is going, without interrupting, until they feel they’ve said everything that was inside them in that moment (yes, sometimes it takes time). After they finish, we usually do a few rounds where I simply say back what I understood from what they said (feedback), so we can unfold the questions to the end. When I feel there’s some repetition starting to happen, that’s when I begin offering suggestions or telling stories that I feel connect to the theme the person brought.

The goal is that, over time, the person starts building a sense of self-listening. Listening to yourself is the first step to identifying what blocks you now.

After we manage, with time, to make this sense of self-efficacy more present, the next step is learning to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is usually something many people avoid, but it’s another key to growth. If we are able to be vulnerable, we’re also able to be kinder and more caring with ourselves and with others. And we become more open to observe ourselves to understand the problems we have and how to solve them, instead of blocking any kind of improvement just because we feel we must be the most incredible person in the world.

Once you trust you can, vulnerability helps you be kinder and more honest with yourself.

The last criterion I would explore is creativity. Allowing yourself to create is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Real creativity lets anyone fit into any environment and profession — and do it with excellence — because it’s a process that makes us pay attention to what’s around us in a more present way, searching for solutions to possible problems.

When I worked at a restaurant, where in six months I was already promoted to a Manager role, it was very much because of these three things. I knew I was capable. I also knew I needed to learn what was in front of me, because my boss had his own way of doing things and wanted to keep it that way (even if I didn’t agree many of those ways were efficient). And I looked at things trying to solve existing problems. The stockroom was messy and it lacked small things like labels so we would know where everything was. I also proposed flipping where we kept items: putting what we used less often on the higher shelves, and the most used things within reach.

Creativity doesn’t mean doing wild, flashy things. It means focusing on solving what’s already there asking for support, in ways that make sense for that environment.

Real creativity fits any environment because it is problem sensing and problem solving.

Capability grows with evidence. Vulnerability keeps it kind. Creativity makes it useful. Bring them together in one simple step today.

 Leave a comment or get in contact with me! I would love to hear what this stirs in you!